she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
