I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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