apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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