So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize