Will you blow on my dice?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Just pee around me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
