Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
