I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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