so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
