he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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