I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
