i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
