Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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