she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize