Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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