i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
