I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
