I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
