Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
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