May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
