Your tits are I can't wait for
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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