I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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