i permit you to call me
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Randomize
