Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize