So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Randomize