it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
