What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize