I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
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