do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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