either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
