that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
