No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize