he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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