I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
