how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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