I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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