I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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