He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
