they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
