Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize
