No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
