I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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