I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize