can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize