mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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