It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
