I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
