I puked a lego.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
