I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
