she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
