I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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