His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I know her cup size but not her name....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
