Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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