i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
