Heybabeimwearingurpanties
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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