If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
