just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
