im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
