I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
