Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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