I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
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