I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize