Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
