Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
