Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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