babies were throwing up all over the place
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Randomize
