i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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