She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize