people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize