Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize