Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
