I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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