I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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