I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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