I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I forget how to act sober
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