Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
