Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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