5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
