Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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