i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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