I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
